MISC: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Jerk.

So, before I talk about food, I'm going to talk about me. I know some people don't want to hear it and instead want to hear about food, so for those people I will kindly tell you that if you only want to read about food, you can skip this whole post and read the next one instead. But since most of you are my friends or family then I know you will allow me to indulge my ego for a minute.

Because last week was a very hard week for me, workwise, and now that it has a happy ending, I feel like I need to say something about it, because I am very proud of myself.

See, I am an attorney. I know! I'm not sure how that happened either. But I am not the TV kind of lawyer that sues people, or defends people, or prosecutes people. Nor am I a high-powered corporate attorney doing major deals. Nor am I a hard-working civil rights attorney who crusades for justice. Here are the things I do: (1) create estate plans for people, (2) help people plan for life as an elderly person, including the possibility of being institutionalized, (3) lead people through the frustrating and complex maze that is known as "Medi-Cal"; (4) help people deal with relatives of any age who are disabled, either by creating a trust to help support them without robbing them of public benefits, or by establishing a conservatorship so that they can take care of their loved ones.

I do go to court, but generally it is not to argue with people, but instead to request the court to allow my clients to do things. It's generally not that hard. All the stuff leading up to the court appearance is hard, but the court appearance itself is generally pretty easy, if you even have to show up, which most of the time you don't. And that's the way I like it. I'm not an adversarial person. I'm a problem solver. I don't like to strategize and argue and get people on technicalities, etc. I like to help people fix their lives, or their parents' lives, or their kids' lives.

But last week I found myself face to face with an a-hole of the highest order and I was forced to do this argument thing that we lawyers are allegedly supposed to love to do. She was a court appointed attorney who hadn't done her job, and after not doing her job and (on top of that) showing up to court an hour late, she was trying her damnedest to turn it back around on me and my client and make us look like the bad guys. And so I found myself actually arguing, in court, before a judge, for the first time. This is definitely not my specialty and I don't enjoy it at all, which made me even more resentful of this jerkface who insisted on making my life miserable just because she sucks.

She was so out of control that by our third trip up to the table (yes, that's right, third, because we had to go out in the hallway and try to work things out like adults--that was a huge failure since not all of us knew how to act like adults), we had OTHER lawyers who had nothing to do with it helping us and making up arguments we could try because they too now wanted to get this woman who was taking up so much time and making insinuations against my client, a person of impeccable character and reputation, who happened to have just lost her husband on top of it and should have been at home in bed with a carton of ice cream and some soap operas and not dealing with this lazy-ass person.

Anyway. The judge finally grew sick of us and took the matter under submission - meaning she wasn't going to rule that day, but would investigate the entire file and then make a decision.

I got the ruling today and our petition was granted and the court appointed attorney was formally discharged, with her fees dictated to her instead of the court allowing her to petition for fees.

And to that, I just have to say: HA! Ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahaha! You jerk. You got beat by a first year associate from a third tier law school (although it's still a better school than yours--that's right, I looked you up) who had no idea what she was doing.

So let this novice offer you some advice: next time--read the petition when it's sent to you, return your calls, and be reasonable. And don't you dare try to be difficult just to get more fees out of a poor old lady who needs her money to pay for her nursing home. Oh yeah, and if all that's too hard for you, you could at LEAST show up to court on time.

That's all.

Back to food stuff shortly. Next up: It's Southern California, so it must be dates!